Couples Counseling

In spite of one or both partners’ sincere attempts, they can often find themselves locked in old disruptive and hurtful patterns. Our goal in couple’s therapy is making sure that both party’s needs are addressed and helping develop new skills and tools that dismantle old ineffective patterns and restoring a secure connection within the relationship. This normally accomplished by improving communication skills, becoming more “emotionally fluent,” gaining insight as to how your actions and words affect those around you, and by learning how to respond to your partner in ways that are helpful and not destructive. Through these techniques, we help you to understand the deeper issues behind what you want but aren’t getting or what you’re getting but don’t want.

At Rawers Therapy, couples learn ways to express their needs without attacking or demeaning their partner, and how to effectively respond when needs aren’t being met. Many learn how their fights were part of a bigger pattern that have little to do with whatever surface issues the argument is about. Many learn why certain words or actions are “hot buttons” that produce overwhelming floods of emotion.

Ultimately, you learn that your partner is not your enemy, but your pattern is. Together, as you learn to dismantle the pattern and reconnect during the process, then trust isn’t far behind.